Friday, February 24, 2012

Danielle's advice

So I mentioned that Danielle and I talked about dating in the last post.  I feel like I should take this time (for myself, really) to write some of the things she said.  I feel like I need to remember this, because it's hard for me to stop thinking about the future with dating and boys (which I assume is only natural).

She mentioned that she never felt more pressure to get married than when she was 21 (which is right around the corner for me).  She said that now (she's 23) she LOVES being single, and doesn't feel the pressure as much.  She's just enjoying road trips and doing whatever she wants with friends and not being tied down.  This is critical for me to remember because for some reason I'm worried about marriage right now.  I know, I know, I'm only 20, but it's SO hard because people are getting married right and left here.  It makes you worry that no one is going to be left!!  <--I joke, I joke.

She also told me about how she dated this guy for a year and really thought she was going to marry him.  She had several experiences that led her to believe this.  However, he ended it abruptly in a 5 minute phone conversation on the phone...!  It was a HUGE blow and she barely started feeling better around last September.  She said that it's natural for a person to start dating someone and start thinking about whether they'll marry them...I mean, that's why you're dating--to see who you're compatible with, so you do end up picturing yourself married to that person to see if it would work.

She also suggested that it's great to be in roommate situations because you can even tell from living with girls what kind of traits you would like in a future husband.  You can learn from the current situation.

This was reassuring to me because it made me realize that 1) I'm probably NOT going to marry the first person I date, thank goodness.  I still need to date more, and it's great that she showed me that hard time that she went through.  She is still so cool and strong, and she is an example that heartbreak won't kill you. 2) It's okay to be single--and awesome.  Both she and Rachelle are rockin' the single life.

I don't know why it's so hard for me to be single--I think because I see couples everywhere and I haven't truly experienced that.  I talked to my mom about it too (shout out to her, she's always right whether I give it to her or not), and she said that there are challenges with every stage in life, whether you're single (why am I single, what is wrong with me that no one's dating me, etc.), dating (what the heck is he thinking, why hasn't he called, I hope what I said wasn't the wrong thing, etc.) and marriage (dealing with weird quirks, sacrificing etc.).  So yeah.  I think I'm okay with being single--it's SO much easier.  As my momma said: just be nice and choose the right and everything will work out.  Don't put all your eggs in one basket (gag me with the cliche) and keep your eyes open to other guys too.

gah.

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