Friday, April 13, 2012

Settle Down

Kimbra.  Love this song.

It's what I need to do--in the sense of "calming down."  I feel like writing in short panicked sentences...because I'm feeling a little like that.

pizza. cookies. made a video last night with the roommates.  looked awful.  can't act to save life.

worried about classes.  three classes.  death of me.  picked hard major.  WHHYYYYYY.......!!!

finals tomorrow.  two of them scheduled.  like a band-aid, right? :/


Saturday, April 7, 2012

Save You

By Matthew Perryman Jones.

So today has been pretty good...up until I 1) realized how stressed I truly should be about finals and 2) took a nap.  You know, when you take a nap and wake up in a bad mood?  Yeah...

So in order to combat this grumpiness, I'm writing a list/doing five things that make me happy today.

1) I'm wearing a really cute outfit--new shirt--even though it's a Saturday.  I look goooood. ;)

2) I worked out this morning.  Gonna be sore and I love it.

3) I'm cooking--I'm making these oatmeal muffin thingies that seem really good.  I love cooking.

4) I took a nap. (Even though this completely contradicts everything ^^ because I was in a bad mood after I woke up, I still love taking random and rare naps.

5) I think I'm going to repaint my nails tonight.  I love doing that.

Last night I went to the BYU Film Cut Festival, and it was awesome.  First of all, "Mr. Bellpond" was amazing.  My cousin filmed it.  It was definitely the best one. :)

I want to comment on some of the movies, though.  There were a few really thought-provoking ones that I want to remember.

The first one that comes to mind is this comedic/dramatic one about a couple.  The boy discovered he could fly, and the girlfriend tried to learn to fly like him.  He couldn't rock-climb, though, like she could.  Another important detail is that the girlfriend was working on a particular part of her rock-climbing wall that she couldn't get, but then she was able to do it at the end.  It ended kind of open-endedly, with the girl telling the guy that he couldn't rock-climb.  What I took from it is this: that it's important not to compare because everyone has their own thing.  The girl couldn't fly, but she could overcome her own obstacles with her passion of rock-climbing.  This totally applies to me--sometimes it's hard to not compare myself to others, but I have to remember that I have my own things that I love doing and progressing in.  In the end, the race is against yourself.

There were also two "movies" that were in the same category in my mind--humanitarian effort.  One was about this guy from Tibet who didn't look like he had very much to start with, but he moved to India and helped poor homeless children get an education and a home in a hostel.  It was so touching to see how he made a difference in their lives.  The other one was about this organization called "Ayuda," meaning "help" in Spanish.  It helps underprivileged diabetic kids in South America with learning how to manage their diabetes.   Both of these movies made me start thinking about what I'm doing to make my mark in the world.  What am I really doing to help make this world a better place?  And it made me start thinking about what I can do with being a dietitian--maybe I could go to third world countries and help with the peoples' diets somehow, too.  I'm reminded of the song "I Was Here" by Lady Antebellum:

"I wanna do something that matters, say something different
Something that sets the whole world on its ear
I wanna do something better with the time I've been given
I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
Leave nothing less than something that says 'I was here'"

I need to figure out what that is.

I also really enjoyed this film clip that highlighted this mom who dresses up and puts on dancing shows.  She's 30 and has two kids, but she still is able to do what she likes--she still follows her passions because it makes her happy.  This was big for me because I think I've always been under the impression that you kind of lose a lot of what's fun when you start having kids.  You can still have a life!  However limited that may be is up for debate, but it was still hopeful for me...

"Mr. Bellpond" was so great.  Besides it being the perfect mix between funny and serious, it made me think about the loss of time and how this can affect your life.  Mr. Bellpond was a brilliant composer whose wife moved away for two and a half weeks but never came back.  For 23.7 years, Mr. Bellpond was a reclusive wreck, doing nothing with his life.  After being blackmailed into composing more music in exchange for an alleged letter from his long-lost lover, however, Mr. Bellpond finally rediscovers the last letter from is lover (Yuridia).  It urged him to come back to the island with her, but I guess he never read it close enough to figure out that she was not coming back.  It's like the Romeo-Juliet theme of how communication is everything.  If only Yuridia had continued writing letters to Mr. Bellpond, and Mr. Bellpond figured out where she was this whole time!!  It made me think about the time I've been given, whether I'm using it to communicate with my loved ones or if I'm losing time...

I think in the pursuit of figuring out what life is about, a couple of more pieces fell into place for me this weekend from seeing these movies and really thinking about their meanings.  There is so much more to life than the things we see everyday, like school and groceries and work...I still have more to figure out, but two more things became more clear to me: that 1) you need to be doing something good--and serving.  (You're probably thinking, "Duh!  Where the heck have you been all these years?" But seriously--have YOU truly thought about what you're going to do about it?) and 2) you need to do what makes you happy.  Not in a bad, indulgent way--still work hard and everything--but life is good, and there are lots of things you can do that can make you happy.  I still need to figure out that passion, too, but I'm on my way.

Friday, April 6, 2012


So last night I got to spend the evening with my aunt Kirsteen and cousins Scott and his wife Becca and Melissa.  It was so great!  I haven't seen them in a really long time--since I was six, I think.  We went to Kneader's and got dessert and were just all able to talk.  I thought it was really fun, and I really look forward to being able to get to know them better.  We exchanged numbers and everything, and so I hope to baby-sit for Scott and hang out with him and Becca.  I also hope to discuss books with Rachel and Heather and Melissa.  Here is a picture of me, Melissa, Scott and his son, Landon.  I look particularly...great...because I just came from hot-tubbing with my two roommates and a couple of boyys...

Last Monday was our ward's FHE Oscar's Night.  We all dressed up formally to watch the videos that each FHE group made.  It started around 7:30 and ended up ending at like, 10:00--soooo late!  It was great though--Peter made these really good mocktails and everyone felt all fancy.  Here is a picture of the 6 of us.

 Oh, and here is the video that we starred in. ;)

I would like to comment on my recent background change--it's called "Free."  I love it, and I think it's (*ahem, pushing up nerdy glasses*) symbolic of my journey to discover myself during these years of college and living on my own.

That's about it, I think.  I'm thinking about going to the BYU Film Festival this weekend.  And Easter will be really fun with my family.

Peace and blessings.

Monday, April 2, 2012


By Priscilla Ahn.  Mmm.

So these past two days were General Conference.  Ahhhmazzinngg.  I love General Conference weekend--you get to hear the Prophet of the Lord speak and all of the General Authorities AND it's a super chill weekend because nobody does anything really more than listen to conference.  It was great.  I need to go back over my notes, but I feel like the overriding message for me was to 1) get out there and serve more, 2) repent and sincerely pray more, 3) listen to the Spirit more and 4) trust in the Lord more.

One talk that really stood out to me besides Richard G. Scott's talk on the Holy Ghost's promptings was Jeffrey R. Holland's talk on one of Jesus' parables about feeling like others have more than you.  This is not the case because in the end, everyone gets the same reward.  Which I didn't realize, but I guess this kind of WAS a troubling parable for me.  I haven't been able to realize why there ARE some people who get more than others.  I was talking about this with my mom, though, and she asked me what it is that I really feel like I don't have.  And that was when it hit me--hard.  i kind of stammered some and muttered something about a perfect body, but then felt terrible inside.  I was truly humbled because I realized that I do have everything I could ever need.  I have a wonderful healthy body that functions and does everything I need it to, and I have an opportunity to have a great education.  I have an AWESOME job, incredible family, great roommates, great housing, a car, laptop, the gospel in my life...I couldn't ask for more.  I'm so grateful to Heavenly Father for all that I have, and I was truly sorry for even thinking for a second that I was gypped.

I want to post a cute picture of me and my roommates at our recent photoshoot.  Totes presh.  haha ;)  Except it's not really loading, so it's going to happen another time.