Saturday, September 29, 2012

Imaginations of an Empty Courtroom

The girl sat quietly on the hard wooden bench, her eyes fixed on her folded hands in her lap.  The entire room was empty except for two other people in the room.  One peered at her over the edge of the high desk, the other stood erect in uniform alongside the wall.

"Thank you for coming to your hearing," the judge said in a deep voice.  "I understand you're now ready to receive your sentence."

The girl sniffed, still looking down.

He continued.  "Let's discuss the boy you have had your eye on for the past few weeks, shall we?"  He motioned to the policeman.  The man quickly walked over with a bundle of official-looking papers and handed them to the judge.

Glancing over the first page, the older man pressed on.  "You saw him a couple of weeks ago, and thought that there might be hope of him noticing you.  The 'stars lined up,' per least in your mind.  Things were going to be perfect, and you knew--or rather, thought you knew-- that in your brief exchange of 'hello,' he in fact was saying, 'Hey girl, I think you and I could be something someday.  Just give me time.'"

The judge watched the girl over his glasses to gauge her response.  The girl slowly lifted her head and stared at the judge blankly, waiting.

"This boy is now known to have taken interest in someone else, wanting to take her on a date.  This girl is also actually known to be of interest to many boys in the complex.  In light of this recent information, I have your sentence."

He paused.  The judge searched her face, hoping to see any slight reaction in the girl, but saw nothing.  The girl remained stiff.

"You are hereby sentenced to a lifetime of single adulthood.  Although not terrible, this sentence will seem exponentially worse while you stay in Provo and all of your friends are married off."

Boom.  The room echoed with the smack of his gavel on the desk as a single tear rolled down the girl's cheek.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


Gather round, children, I have a story to tell.  While a tale of joy, wonder and beauty, it mostly is a story about why I never will truly be able to "grow up."

It's about why I still believe in the Tooth Fairy.

It's not a story I like telling people because they think I'm crazy.  So that's why I'm publicizing it on this blog.

When I was young, just the wee age of about ten or so, I lost one of my teeth.  It wasn't the first tooth, nor was it the last.  It probably was slightly painful, and I imagine I got quite "freaked out," per se, before the actual loss.  I don't really remember, but I digress.

I discovered the truth about the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Santa, etc. when I was in second grade (thanks to sitting in the back of the school bus, where I actually learned a lot about life).  So when the Tooth Fairy didn't come the first night of this particular tooth, I was able to gently remind the "Tooth Fairy" to come by that night.  A couple of forgetful nights passed (it was a hectic week) until the one night when I found one whole dorrah under my pillow.  I ran to thank my mom the Tooth Fairy for the dollar.  She told me in all honesty that it wasn't her and that it must have been Dad.

So I ran to thank Dad.

He told me in all honesty that it wasn't him and that it must have been Mom.  I then quickly recounted the past three minutes to him.  Baffled, he followed me to their bedroom to talk to Mom about it.  Neither knew who did it!  They both honestly said they didn't do it, and they were just as confused as I was.  Unless they both were hiding it--which I don't think they were (what motives would they have, since they knew I knew?)--the Tooth Fairy truly visited our house.

This is why I'm still a believer in the Tooth Fairy.

*Me in monkey form, never growing up*

Sunday, September 23, 2012

The good, the bad and the uglaayyy


  • went shopppaaanng.  I sincerely believe in the magic of shopping therapy.  
  • My friend told me about some sweet new music.  Look up "Madness" by Muse.
  • got two cute new hometeachers.  holllaa
  • ate banana pancakes this week
  • went grocery shopping.  It's always nice to have food
  • went to a block party on Saturday night with my friends
  • watched Baby Momma with some friends.  That was fun, too.
  • auditioned for a fashion show in February
  • luncheon with friends
  • was late to work this week
  • first o. chem. test
  • lunch date
  • one of my best friends' boyfriend broke up with her
  • So there we were, waiting for the church service to start in the Marriott Building (an indoor arena type building with stadium seating, used for basketball, devotionals etc.)  My friend asked me which portal we were in so she could text it to our other friend, so I stood up to see.  I also had an open water bottle in hand--I was about to take a drink, as all people with open water bottles in their hand normally intend to do.  When I stood up, I totally ended up spilling like, HALF the water bottle onto the two girls in front of me!  I don't know what happened.  I just kind of tipped it over as I was looking at the portal.  Oh. My. Gosh.  And the way I found out was the girls gasped and stood up really fast, looking at me like, "WTH!?"  All I could do was sit there and profusely apologize.  "I can't apologize enough, I'm sooooo sorry!!!"  Them: "It's okay, I'm glad it was just water and not, like, Kool-aid or something!"  But seriously?  Can you imagine coming to church and having water poured all over you!?  There's no way to explain how that was an accident except that I was seriously NOT thinking AT ALL.
  • So there I was, sitting in class on Friday, so ready to get the heck out of class and on with the weekend.  I was going to go to Plato's Closet to get a pair of tapered jeans for this fashion show audition.  I booked it out of there, made it to Plato's and all was well.  THEN I headed over to Target to get a white v-neck, since that was the other part of the audition outfit (jeans, white v-neck and heels).  In the Target parking lot, I thought it would be really smart to take my key off of my key ring and stick it in my wallet so I would just have my wallet and phone with me.  You can see where this is heading, right?  I grabbed my clothes to stick in the trunk and ended up sticking my wallet in the trunk.  It took me a second to realize what happened, though--I started walking off to Target with my phone and bag of jeans from Plato's in hand...and then it hit me.  Oh no.  There were several problems with this picture.
    • I didn't have a spare key.  At all.  (**Now I do, thanks for asking.**)
    • My phone was at 14% battery life.
So I called everyone I knew in the family in the area, but no one was picking up.  My dad picked up, but he was in New York on a business trip... I quickly looked up a locksmith and just called the first one I saw.  It was actually kind of a bizarre experience calling them, like it was some type of office base that outsourced to people in the area.  I don't think they even knew where the Target in Orem was, which they should have!!  The office lady said the guy would call me, letting me know when he would get there.  Ten minutes later, "I'll be there in thirty minutes."  Thirty minutes later, "I'll be there in twenty minutes."  Me praying, "Please don't let my phone die before this guy reaches me!!"  The last twenty minutes passed and my phone completely died.  It wouldn't revive for the world.  So I sit there ANOTHER forty minutes, hoping this guy will at least still come looking for me, since he was *supposed* to know where I was and the make/year of my car.
In the meantime, I sat on my car trunk, laid back on my car, sat down by my car, leaned against it...Picture this: since I was in the car parking spot right by the shopping cart return station, I just sat and leaned my head against the metal bars there, with my jeans by my side and my dead phone.  Every once in a while, someone would return a cart, rattling the whole thing and jostling me to look up.  I'm sure I looked like this random emo kid, just sitting there in the Target parking lot....
Finally this guy who came back from shopping (there were several people I saw come and go), asked if I was locked out of my car.  Yes, I was.  Well, why don't you call the police, they'll do it for free...? Because I already called the guy, and I didn't know they did that before I called them, and I'm not thinking coherently right now, and I'm hungry, tired and hot and just a little kid... Just go call the police.  They'll do it for free.  Okay, I will.
So I unpeeled myself from my car and called the police from Target.  The cop was there in five minutes.  Two and a half hours later from the initial lock-in, I got my wallet and was able to finally get the things I needed at Target in the first place.

Since I had a lot of time for self-reflection while sitting there in the Target parking lot, I learned a few things about myself.  
  1. I needn't be so quick to judge.  There were several really good-looking (as in "nice" or "kind") people who walked by me who didn't ask me a single thing.  However, this guy who asked me was someone I initially judged as someone who I would never want to encounter alone in a dark alley.  He was this huge Tongan-looking guy with long hair, tats and what looked like a beer case in hand.  It was him who suggested asking the police.  So nice!
  2. I had a lot of time to people walking by.  I was really inspired by all these fit and skinny moms, toting around kids--but looking good doing it!  I really want to get in more shape!
  3.  I'm going to be more aware--and not make this mistake again.
  4. I reflected on why I really went out and bought these jeans.  It can be really easy to spend money in order to obtain self-worth, but it needs to come from the inside.  Of course, it can't hurt to get new jeans...
So yeah.  The good, the bad and the ugly.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

There is no such thing

There is no such thing as...a lot of things...

  • as still being friends after a relationship
  • as being able to cram for a test
  • as being able to cram for practicing
  • as being able to break up with someone without hurting
  • as being able to eat whatever you want without paying the price in some form
  • as saving money AND time at the same time--you pay for either one when you think about it
And there is no such thing as the Easter Bunny or the Queen of England.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

If You Give a Girl an Organic Chemistry Class

If you give a girl an organic chemistry class, she will become overwhelmed.

In this overwhelmed and almost desperate situation, she will start reaching out to anyone and everyone she knows that might have even said the word "chemistry" out loud to help her.

This includes her ex of three months.  She will text him, just to say hi.

Not in an entirely sound state of mind, she starts the annoying process of over-analyzing her non-existent love life.  She will soon realize that the only way to de-stress from everything--including chemistry--is to go to the gym.

At the gym, the second most annoying process of comparison starts in her mind.  The girl escapes quickly to go call her mom.

As the girl talks to her mom, she begins to calm down.  Her mom reassures her that everything will be okay. At the mention of "be okay," the girl remembers that usually everything is okay when eating frozen yogurt.

She promptly gets in her car, drives to Yogurtland and waits in the ridiculously long line that should have been shorter at ten o'clock on a weeknight.  The cup she gets is chock-full of yogurt and topped with more Reese's than Yogurtland should ever permit.

After finishing the yogurt in the parking lot, the amount of calories just consumed dawns on her.  The girl sadly sees that the damage done at Yogurtland negated her workout earlier that day.

THEN she remembers the reason why she worked out in the first place--to help her relax from the stresses of boys and chemistry.

Chemistry.  If you give a girl an organic chemistry class...

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Awkward highlights of the week

Sometimes I'm awkward.  Normally people with this curse are oblivious to their awkwardness, but I would venture to say that my case of awkwardness is doubly worse.  This is because I'm painfully aware of every awkward moment...but I can't help it sometimes.  Here we go.
  • One of my best friends is dating this guy that I work with.  The other night, when we were waiting in line to go to a comedy show, he pulled her into a side hug and...then they just stayed there, in the side hug along the wall.   Probably about five minutes into this prolonged side hug, I looked over at both of them--when they both looked at me--and I gave them a huge smile and thumbs up.  :D
  • Later I apologized for being awkward to them.  The boy said something to the effect of, "That's alright, we know a lot of awkward people."  When he said that, I just laughed a little and kind of looked at him for longer than the acceptable social time.    
  • The other night, as SOON as I got out of class, I rushed over to this nursing home to play the piano for my wards' service family home evening activity.  I asked if my roommate would turn the pages for me.  I forgot to tell her that the pages weren't taped together, so we had to stop in the middle of my piece to figure out the pages.
  • After I played, this cute guy came up to me and told me how well I played and that it was beautiful.  When he said that, he kind of raised his hand up a little, like he was going to shake my hand??  I didn't I shook his.  How awkward is that--shaking one of your peers hands for a little longer than either party wanted...during a an old lady would...
  • So when we were all leaving, a bunch of people were starting to say goodbye to all of the old folks.  I was in a row right in front of this elderly lady and this OTHER cute guy came up and started saying goodbye.  I didn't realize/remember this until later, but I was just staring at them saying goodbye, less than five feet away.  I'm sure he was aware of me, but acted like he wasn't, thank goodness.  It was like living out the scene in 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' when she just stares at her future husband in the restaurant before she pours him coffee...
  • After he finished saying goodbye, I went to the same lady to also "show my love" and say goodbye to her.  I started talking to her, asking her questions about herself with some small talk.  I was personally uncomfortable, but I was thinking, "Well, older people like this, right, people talking to them?  I'm going to make more effort than all of these people have and actually talk to her!"  Well, apparently old people haven't lost their awkward-radar either, because she asked me if I was leaving with the rest of the group on a bus or needed to take anyone home, (No, I was by myself driving) and thank you again for the beautiful music and singing to us!  Uhhh, WHY could I NOT get the hints from this lady??  Oh my gosh.
  • During the talent show, I also accompanied this guy singing.  On our way out, he thanked me again for playing for him.  I told him that it wasn't a problem, you're welcome, and I didn't know you could sing like that!  THEN I kept rambling, saying, "Well, I guess I don't know how I would have, I've only talked to you twice, was really good!"  He just sat there smiling.  Whaterr.
This is about all the awkwardness I can take.  Even as I type this I'm starting to feel the twinges of awkwardness.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

The little things

So there I was, driving from my apartment on my way to my hair appointment.  I was waiting at a light right by BYU's football stadium when I happened to glance in my rearview mirror to see an older couple on a motorcycle?  Scooter?  Anyways, the wife had her arms wrapped around her husband, and was just chilling, looking around.  *This is my favorite part*--the husband looked down at his wife's arms around him and started smiling to himself.  They weren't saying anything, and the wife probably didn't know he was smiling--there was no way for her to,  unless she happened to be looking in the little mirrors at the exact same time.

It was kind of like this picture, except not... 1) They were driving, not in a field. 2) The husband was in front, the wife in back. 3) The front person's head was not turned, nor were his hands up, as described earlier.  4) Only the husband was smiling.

I thought it was very sweet.  I could picture him thinking about earlier days together on a motorcycle or something, about how they were still in love after all those years, and how much he loved being in that moment with her.

It was like seeing 10 seconds of a real-life chick-flick.  I loved it.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

A small but significant experience

Today as I was clocking into work for the *second* time today at 2:00 p.m. (the first shift being from 4:30 a.m. to 9:00...) I was feeling a little sorry for myself.  I was exhausted, a little stressed with school, and a little peeved at the leprous-looking action on my face (because of this new acne medicine I'm using now, just to let you know.  I haven't developed an unknown disease around my mouth, contrary to popular belief.)

Anyways, I was headed towards the door when someone considerably shorter than me turned, smiled at me and opened the door for me.  It wasn't until then that I noticed that she didn't have a left arm and it looked like her right hand wasn't fully developed.  It seemed like she struggled to open the door for me, but she did.

I was humbled and so grateful to the Lord for letting me have that experience.  I promise to be more aware of other people, and less caught up in my own insignificant problems.  I will show my gratitude.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Self-discovery. Is. So. Great.

Okay.  So you know what one of the best movies of all-time is?  My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  I don't watch a lot of movies, but this is one that I've seen OVER and OVER.  It's borderline sad how much of it I have memorized.

Bear with me here.  Remember the scene where it shows Toula's "self-discovery" per se, where she really becomes herself, finally is accepted by others and learns new things about herself?  I would have posted the YouTube clip of it, but I couldn't find it.

I feel like that's my life right now.  I'll just go into a little list here about somethings I've learned about myself/experiences to illustrate this...

I always kind of viewed myself as classy, but not necessarily stylish (being defined as "always with the latest trends") or trendy (being defined as "up-to-date on the styles).  I know, I just defined them as the same thing.  Since moving here to a new apartment complex with new people, I've gotten some compliments on the way I do my hair/make-up/'s been refreshing to me because I don't know, I guess I never thought of myself as being able to be truly complimented or admired by the "cool" girls.  (That's not to disregard the previous compliments that I've gotten in the past by my friends--I'm just referring to the new place I'm in/new people that I've met.  I also don't want it to sound like I'm tooting my own horn (thanks, Mom, for your cliches ;).  This is just a public corner of the Internet for some of my thoughts.  K, thanks.)

For example, in the bathroom as I was getting ready, one of my roommate who's ultra chic--said that she liked the way I did my make-up, what eyeshadow did I use, and that my eyelashes are really long.  I'm only repeating what she told me ;)  But seriously, the image that kept replaying in my mind was Toula sitting down with all of the pretty blond girls.  "Rohkayy, I'll sit down with my Wonder Bread sandwich and eat with y'all!"

Other moments of self-discovery:

  • *Openness alert* I needed to get a new bra.  BUT I discovered my grandma is really good at fitting bras, and I, uhhhh, got fitted well!  What's up, y'all.  My boobs.  Way more up than they were.  Okayyy...
  • I thought I liked getting caught in the rain, but...apparently I don't.  Only sometimes.
  • I learned that I have no problem eating a slice of chicken bacon ranch pizza right after a bowl of cereal in the morning.  
  • I tried curling my hair again in hopes of liking it, but nope!  I still don't.  Only when it's long.
Okay, I think that's all.  That's all the self-discovery I can take in one weekend.