Sunday, February 24, 2013

And now it's time for "Silly Comparisons with Bethany"

Trying to find a car is freakishly similar to trying to date.  Through this process of putting on my big-girl panties to find a car like the adult that I am (haha), I'm finding more and more common characteristics between the two.


Finding a car ("C" for car): You have to research like crazy--looking in the want ads basically.  It is also helpful to talk to people who know about the cars you're considering. 

Finding a suitable boy (listed as "B" for boy): You also need to research like crazy--looking everywhere for someone you might date.  Research the guy--look at his Facebook photos to get more information (of course--this is a no-judging-Facebook-stalking zone), and talk to people who know him.

C: It would also help to know what you're looking for, whether it's a used car with a clean title, less than a certain amount, with a certain amount of miles...
B: You should also know what you're looking for in a guy, whether it's good looks, a strong testimony, fun and caring personality...

C: When you find a potential car, you need to contact the owner to set up a time for a test drive.
B: The same thing--contact the boy for a test date.  You need to know whether this guy is going to be someone you can be with.

C: When it comes time for the test drive, you need to come prepared with knowledge of questions to ask and you MUST be confident.
B: Same thing--ask those right questions and be confident.  Don't let the seller catch a whiff of ANY insecurities.

C: As previously suggested, it is critical to know the right questions to ask.  Was the car ever damaged or in a wreck?  What kind of work has been done on it?  Is it currently in any need of repair?  What is the interior like?  Are ALL mechanisms of the car functioning, including the heat and stereo?
B: Ask your boy the right questions--Were you ever previously damaged in relationships?  Are you over it or do you still need repair?  How is your interior?  Are you stained with any type of addictions?

C: If the car doesn't seem right immediately, perhaps you need some time to mull it over.  Sometimes, however, it will be clear that the car is not the right one for you.  It could be a strong or even subtle feeling that you get, or it may be a huge red flag, like the no working heating system..
B: Same thing for the boy.

C:  Eventually you need to call them back--either to politely reject the car or ask them for another meeting to set up a sale.
B: Eventually you should call the guy back--either to politely reject the boy or ask for another meeting.

C: It is guaranteed that negotiations and compromises will be factors.  There will be both pros and cons to the car, but the goal is to reach a good selling price where both parties will be satisfied.
 B: Negotiations and compromises are also inevitably part of relationships--as are pros and cons.  "I like this guy a LOT, but he does this, this and this, which is annoying...but these characteristics don't outweigh the good, so I'm willing to enter into a deal."  (I guess the negotiating part of early dating is more of a stretch than the compromise aspect, but it can still work in this analogy, okay?)

C:  It's important to not settle.
B:  It's important to not settle.

C: Sometimes the car deal doesn't work out.  You thought it was right, enjoyed the test drive, liked certain aspects of it...but then come to find out that the car is NOT worth the asking price.  You tell them that you're not interested anymore unless something in the deal can be changed.  They either take it or leave it, but if they leave it, you comfort yourself by saying it wasn't the right car and not meant to be because another just as good, if not better, will come along sometime.
B: Pretty much the same thing with the guy.  Just apply the analogy in your head for me, k?

C:  If the first one or 10 or 20 didn't work out, it's back to square one.  You need to repeat this entire process until you find the right car.  Additionally, you might start to look in other places, such as other people, other websites, professional dealerships and more.
B:  Start the dating process all over again.

C: No matter what, you will always have a soft spot for your old car (and especially your first car).  It has a special place in your heart.
B:  Same for the boy.

C:  If and when you wreck, it could be a big damaging wreck that totals the car or only a small scratch.  Neither car will be damaged in the same way or to the same degree either.
B:  A fight could be a breaking point in your relationship, or it could turn out to be something that could be easily fixed.  One party might get hurt more than the other and need more repair.

C:  Most wrecks are accidents.  Some could be prevented, others couldn't.
B:  Most fights are not intentional.  Nobody really likes fighting.  Some fights can be avoided, others aren't so easily avoided.

C:  Some people have cars, some don't.  Some are in the process of getting one, some have them given to them, others have to work for them.
B: Some people have boys, some don't.  Some are in the process of getting one, some have dates come easily to them, others have to work for them.

I think I could think of a million more applications of this analogy, but 1) I have GOT to go to bed now, 2) I'm way too analytical for my own good and probably could drive this analogy to the ground with fifty more obscure comparisons, and 3) I'm tired of thinking about boys and cars, both of which I'm currently lacking.

That is all.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Welcome to CHA

*Disclaimer: This is just an imagined scene in my head.  In no way is it real.  It also is meant to be funny, not a cry for help.  I'm still a moderately functioning person.*

Moderator (a short, stocky lady with mousy brown limp hair): Welcome to Couple Haters Anonymous! I warmly welcome you. Share your deepest feelings--we're all friends here. Who would like to go first?

*A quiet shuffling in the room, quick glances up and even faster glances down.*

Moderator: Okay, how about we start clockwise, starting on my right? What's your name?

Bethany: (sullenly) Bethany.

Moderator: (still unnaturally chipper) Okay, Bethany! Let's all greet Bethany.

Other CHA attendees in a dull chorus: Hi, Bethany.

Moderator: Why are you here today?

Bethany: Because I hate couples.

Moderator: Okay...(realizing this new job was going to be a lot more painful than she initially thought). Tell us more! When did this start for you?

Bethany: A little over half a year ago when my boyfriend and I broke up. (beginning to open up more). I can't stand seeing couples--the way they hold hands, walk together laughing, eat together, study drives me KUH-raayyyyzeeeee (she obnoxiously drew out the word "crazy" for effect).

Moderator: O-kay! It looks like we're getting somewhere, aren't we? (She beamed at the circle of empty stares. One person sniffed.)

Bethany: (Her eyes begin to glaze over as she continues.) It's like a green monster emerges from inside me. I can't even be in the same room as couples sometimes! Instead of hanging out with my cousin and her new boyfriend recently, I chose to sit in the playroom with the little kids "watching" them...when I was really just watching The Incredibles. I even take pictures of awkward couples and show them to my friends, smirking on the outside but wishing it was me on the inside... Whenever I see a newly engaged girl, I think inside my head, "Congratulations, you found love!" Sometimes I turn the station from cute love songs on the radio. I can't let myself think of anyone other than friends because I know I'll get disappointed. I serve as the advice-giver of my friends, but really I have no love-knowledge to lean on. I can't think straight when I'm in the presence of PDA...I --

Moderator, interrupting: For those of you who don't know what PDA is, it's an acronym for "public display of affection." Okay, let's continue. Who's next? (at this point her smile started to look plastic.)

Bethany, unfazed, continuing: BYU is the WORST place to be single since it seems like EVERYONE and their dog has a boyfriend! Remember when I said I turn the station? I changed my mind. I actually don't listen to music anymore. I don't watch T.V. or love movies. I only do homework and hang out with my girlfriends. I haven't had a good date in forever. Wait, there's more...I--

Moderator, becoming increasingly flustered: Oh-kayyy!! Thank you, Bethany!! Who. Is. Next. (she said through gritted teeth. Her smile started to melt into a grimace.)

Bethany, beginning to sing in an even louder voice: "The trouble with love is... it can tear you up inside, make your heart believe a lie, it's stronger than your pride..."

The other attendees uncomfortably shifted in their seats...

And that is how a CHA meeting would go. I feel awkward even writing it.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

How I Lost My Ability to Function as a Normal Adult

I *know* there are more instances than this that point to my endearing quirks (or debilitating character flaws, whichever one you want to call it), but here is one, written out especially for your enjoyment.

Once when I was little, probably 9 or 7 or 10, I woke up in the middle of the night and threw up.  I don't know why I was randomly sick in the middle of that fateful night, but it marked a significant turning point in my young life.  After I got sick, I leaned my neck forward and found that it was kind of cramped up.  I told my mom that and within ten minutes we went to the hospital in fear of meningitis (I think that's what we were worried about, anyways....).

Truthfully, I don't remember a lot of the details between leaving for the hospital and what I'm about to describe next.  It doesn't matter.  What matters is what I'm about to describe next.

Next: The doctors needed a blood sample from me for testing.  What the--!?  Ahhhh aaaayyychHHH to the NO!  There was no way in hot Hades I was going to let them and their little blood-sucking needles near my young 9 or 7 or 10 year-old veins.  I went down with a fight.  I put up an embarrassingly HUGE hissy fit...and they had to call in back up.  No, seriously.  The nurses called for this  very large scary burly man with a butch haircut--to pin me down.  He and another nurse had to LAY their bodies on me to get this stupid blood sample, all the while I was fuh-REAKING out of my mind.  It was a disaster.

After being sufficiently traumatized, I received the sternest talking-to of my life.  I'll never forget how embarrassing I was to my mom or how embarrassed I was of myself.  Nevertheless, I digress.  The more important fact here is that I can't even take shots now without having some sort of minor freak out, even if it is just in my head (the freak out, not the shot).  I haven't had a flu shot since I've left home one is here to make me.  Shots aren't as bad as blood samples, however.  Recently I had to give a blood sample at the doctor's office, and I was about THIS close to breaking down and crying.  (My mom can attest to this.)  I told the nurse that I am deathly afraid of needles and couldn't look.  This is the kicker: she asked me how old I was.  I had to tell her that I'm 21, yes, I know I'm too old to be freaking out...

This whole needle phobia isn't the only thing that developed from this story, however.  The experience of waking up randomly to throw up also completely scarred me.  For who knows how long (my parents know probably) after this, I couldn't go to sleep without having my parents reassure me that I wasn't going to wake up in the middle of the night to puke my guts up again.  Apparently (they told me this later), this excessive worrying almost got to the point where they considering taking me to therapy.  Yeah...

So.  Now you know why I 1) can't handle needles and 2) have very big issues with throwing up.

I don't know what I'm going to do in physiology lab this semester when we have to sample our own blood... 

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Fav YT Vids

Cool title, huh?  Get it?  Like "Favorite YouTube Videos," but I shortened it?  See what I did there?  Anyways...

Here are little somethin' somethin's for you.




This song is one of my favorite uplifting songs...ever.  Sometimes I listen to it over and over again.

I'll let the videos speak for themselves today. :)

Saturday, February 2, 2013


I don't really have a specific blog idea for today except for some thoughts I had.

Today (a couple of minutes ago) I was watching a YouTube video of my ex-boyfriend playing an original song on the guitar with his friend.  Sometimes I still go back and watch it, or look at his Facebook.

It has been a year since I've met him and a little over half a year since we've broken up.  I was struck by how peaceful I felt when I was watching the video.  It was nice to see his face and hear him play again.  As I watched, I remembered lots of the little things about him, like his mannerisms and the way he played guitar, his clothes... It was kind of surreal to remember, as if dating him was just a dream.  The overriding feeling I had was how blessed I was that the Lord crossed our paths.  Being with him was a gift, as are all of my relationships and friendships that I've ever had/have/will have.  I feel like a better person after knowing him, and I think he might say the same thing about me (or at least I would hope so!).  I don't think we were meant to marry, but I feel grateful for the time I got to spend with him.  I feel like I've grown up a lot since then, too.  Being with him taught me to not judge others.  He also showed me what it's like to be treated well.  He taught me how to be comfortable with someone, and how to just be in a relationship that you want to be in.  I learned more about how to relax in conversations, and more about what I want in a future husband.  I also appreciated what it was like to meet his family. 

It's taken me a while to get to this point, to be able to be grateful, not bitter or sad, for these experiences.  I think I truly can now.