Saturday, February 2, 2013

Thoughts

I don't really have a specific blog idea for today except for some thoughts I had.

Today (a couple of minutes ago) I was watching a YouTube video of my ex-boyfriend playing an original song on the guitar with his friend.  Sometimes I still go back and watch it, or look at his Facebook.

It has been a year since I've met him and a little over half a year since we've broken up.  I was struck by how peaceful I felt when I was watching the video.  It was nice to see his face and hear him play again.  As I watched, I remembered lots of the little things about him, like his mannerisms and the way he played guitar, his clothes... It was kind of surreal to remember, as if dating him was just a dream.  The overriding feeling I had was how blessed I was that the Lord crossed our paths.  Being with him was a gift, as are all of my relationships and friendships that I've ever had/have/will have.  I feel like a better person after knowing him, and I think he might say the same thing about me (or at least I would hope so!).  I don't think we were meant to marry, but I feel grateful for the time I got to spend with him.  I feel like I've grown up a lot since then, too.  Being with him taught me to not judge others.  He also showed me what it's like to be treated well.  He taught me how to be comfortable with someone, and how to just be in a relationship that you want to be in.  I learned more about how to relax in conversations, and more about what I want in a future husband.  I also appreciated what it was like to meet his family. 

It's taken me a while to get to this point, to be able to be grateful, not bitter or sad, for these experiences.  I think I truly can now.

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