Thursday, April 18, 2013

My version of H***

So, today at work the song "Tearin' Up My Heart" by N Sync was playing.

I used to like that song, but I don't think I do anymore.  I actually don't know anyone who likes any song after it's been played for the billionth time.

I think there are different versions of hell for everyone.  For me, for example, there are several.  One would be a never-ending homework assignment for organic chemistry, the class created in hell itself.  Another would be hearing the line "And no matter what I do, I feel the pain, with or without you" from "Tearin' Up My Heart" over and over while having to talk to my crush for an indefinite amount of time.   Especially after yesterday.

Yesterday I asked him point blank if he's ever liked me--ever in the time that he's known me.  Normally I don't have that kind of gumption, but yesterday the question was going OVER and OVER in my mind and I knew it wouldn't leave until I asked him.

So I did.

He laughed and told me "just as friends," and then reciprocated the question.  All I could do was sit there silently, screaming "shoot, this scenario went a lot better in my head," "what the heck was I expecting him to say!?" and "YES, ever since I met you!!" all at the same time in my head.  After a minute of no response from me, he told me "that's fine, you don't have to answer."  Good, because 1) I wasn't going to and 2) I'm pretty sure that last minute of silence spoke volumes.

And that would currently be my version of you-know-where, even over this finals week.

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