Sunday, July 28, 2013

What if I Don't Wanna Change!?

A lot of things in my life are changing right now.   I know that change is necessary and generally is great, but I have a really hard time with change sometimes (a recurring theme of my blog).  I'm pretty sure one of the only changes I truly embrace is coloring my hair.  For some reason I don't mind changing my hair color...I would definitely take a bad hair color over a bad haircut.  Anyways, I digress.

There are some things that I REALLY don't want to change after my mission.

(In no particular order)
  • I don't want to change my makeup regimen...I'm open to changing it, only if it improves in technique.  I was just talking to a close friend/return missionary the other day and she said she used to wear makeup, but then didn't after her mission.  She wore less of it on her mission and discovered that she didn't like it as much.  I never thought she needed makeup, and I don't think I personally ALWAYS need to wear makeup, but I also recognize its ability to improve one's appearance.  I don't really want to turn into one of those nature girls.  I like the fakeness, okay??
  • I want to always still love going to indie alternative concerts and small venues on the weekends to hear live music.  I love live concerts.
  • I want to keep the ability to walk in and enjoy heels dangit.
  • The only reason I would want a weight change is if it went DOWN.  I do NOT want any change in my weight by means of an increase.
  • I want to still have my best friends that I do now.  I have this deeply-rooted fear of losing friends.  I want to do everything in my power to keep up those friendships, all the while letting the Lord lead me to more friendships.  I have to remind myself all the time of that one quote,"If you love something, Set it free... If it comes back, it's yours.  If it doesn't, it never was yours...."
  • I want to always love music (as alluded to above), but I mean knowing and listening to up-and-coming music.  
  • I want to always love reading.
  • I want to still like vintage-y things.
  • I don't want to change the inflection of my voice--like it sounds like I'm bearing my testimony all the time or something.  I know that's a ridiculous concern, but it's legitimate nonetheless.
  • I don't want to be awkward around boys my age.  Or at least get any more awkward than I already am.  
  • I also want to still love country and booty dancing.
Ways I expect to change and improve:
  • I expect myself to be better at talking to people and striking up a conversation.
  • I want to be better at reading peoples' nonverbal messages from their body language.
  • I will be better in tune with the Spirit and what the Lord wants for me.
  • I will kick the habit of biting my nails.
  • I will be better at saying "no" to desserts and better at portion control.
  • I will be better at budgeting my money.
  • I will improve my study skills.
  • I will be better at loving people who are hard to love.  I will get along better with all different types of people.
  • I will have a strong relationship with the Lord and my Savior.
  • I will not be afraid to share what I believe with other people.
  • I will be able to better prioritize my time.
  • I won't have such an addiction to social media (mainly Facebook and Wordfeud).
  • I'll go to sleep earlier and wake up earlier.
  • I'll be in the habit of exercising every day.
  • I'll be more obedient.
  • I'll be more confident in myself.
That would be nice.


  1. I do and don't want to change in many of the same ways you've listed here.

    Change is inevitable though, and many times we don't get a choice in what we might want to change. Or not change.

  2. I loved reading this blog! It reminds me of all the reasons I think you're so funny and awesome and how you will be a shining star out in the mission field! :) Every Sunday when I see the sister missionaries, I honestly think of you now! I sure miss you and hope all is going well!